A LOOOONG HISTORY Story

My mother has had three strokes. The first stroke was a warning - a watch your blood pressure stroke. Mother did not like taking her BP medicine so in 1984 she had a major stroke. Dad was still working. Mother had a live in nurse for three months. In 1994 mother had the second major stroke. Instead of going to rehab she went home and Dad started taking care of her. He has been taking care of her, doing all the grocery shopping, bill paying etc. Mother has not gotten herself a sandwich or a drink since 1994. When I moved to town in 2000 I started helping, and each year I was doing more helping. Then in 2008 Dad had a health problem and then in February of 2009 we moved the both of them into assited living.

According to the Alzheimer Association, the leading cause of dementia in older adults is Alzheimer. The only way to confirm Alzheimer is with an autopsy.

My father has moderate dementia. He is taking two drugs for Alzheimer's, Nimenda and Aricept. Thankfully he has good medical coverage because these drugs are each over $100.00 per month, and there is no real hard data that they work. The drugs are designed to slow the physical progression of the disease but who knows if or for how long it works. Once a patient starts taking these drugs Doctors are very reluctant to pull them off because who knows, they may help.

At any rate, Dad still is still functioning at a pretty good level. He knows who his children and their spouses are. He knows who the grandchildren and great grandchildren are once he is reminded who they are. He goes to breakfast, lunch and dinner on time and he knows most of the people at the assisted living home. He has to be reminded to change his clothes or he will wear the same clothes every day.

He repeats things. While I was in California he lost parts of two teeth. Each time I visit. He tells me about that incident and usually shows me his teeth. I have to tell him the dentist recommendation over and over. I also have to make the decision about the Dentist, Doctor etc. He cannot make those decisions. My sister takes care of the bills and the money, he cannot not even write out a check any more. The Assisted Living takes care of medications, before they moved in I had taken over that task.

There is a person at the Assisted Living that does shopping at Walmart for the residents. I have been trying to get Dad to give her a list. He gives me the list instead. He has three different kinds of razors and wants a refill on all three. He wants asprin and rolaids. Then he complains of a stomach ache and it does not occur to him to take a rolaids.

His latest thing is negative behavior. I have had to drop back to trying to remember children and negative behavior. He grouches and says he is going to jump in the lake. I took both of my parents to the Fairhope pier where Dad threw a fit and I told him he could sit in the car if he wanted to. Then walking out on the pier he said he was going to jump, I told him to go ahead but I would never be able to save him. Anyway, it has taken me a while to figure out how to manage the negative stuff. The more I give in to it and say poor dad, the worse it gets. So I ignore or I say, sure, stay here by yourself. Mom and I are going to dinner.

At any rate, he had a GREAT time at the Pier and we had a nice lunch. So from now on I will be giving SHORT updates on their progress.